The Must Do List

Posted on

must do list The Must Do List

To do lists are great and can be an invaluable tool for Mom’s with Adult Attention Deficit Disorder.There’s just  something about having a list of tasks that need to be done that can keep you headed in the right direction on a daily basis. They’re also especially beneficial for Mom’s like us because we can take a peek at the list and figure out what’s next when our mind has wandered or we’ve found ourselves seriously distracted. However I’ve found something even more useful than the To do list: The Must Do List.

A Must Do List is exactly what it sounds like; a list of tasks that must be done every single day with out fail. It should consist of extremely easy jobs that are absolutely 100% necessary for a clean home. Things like, dust the blinds and check the fire alarm batteries should definitely not be on the list. (If you feel like you need to do those things on a daily basis then you might have more than AADD and should consult your doctor). Also the list should not include the obvious, like eat and/or change the babies diaper, unless of course you struggle to remember to do those tasks. What the list should include are things like empty the dishwasher, do the dishes, and pick up the living room. My daily jobs  are

  • Make the Bed
  • Collect dirty laundry
  • Wipe down the bathrooms
  • Empty the dishwasher
  • Sweep the kitchen
  • 5 minute kitchen clean up
  • 5 minute living room clean up
  • Load and run the dishwasher nightly

As you can see this list is incredibly basic, nothing more than the absolutely necessary. If done properly every single day then all the jobs should take about 30 minutes total.

So, now that you know what a “Must Do” list is, it’s time to explain why it’s so very important for Mom’s with Adult Attention Deficit Disorder.The first and most obvious reason for having a list like this is because we tend to get distracted. Having AADD as a parent means there are ten trillion other things that could or should be taken care of at any given time. It’s all too easy to set out to clean up the kitchen only to find yourself a short time later scrubbing the shower. And all because you noticed how dirty the tub was when you went to put away the rubber ducky you tripped over while cleaning the kitchen.The idea is, that using the must do list will ensure that the absolutely necessary gets done before you move on to whatever other cleaning or organizing task makes it itself known. Plus if you do happen to find yourself doing the uncessary, like alphabetizing your book case,  you can quickly jump back on track and complete the necessary stuff.

The second reason why this list is important is because People with AADD suffer from something called Hyperfocus(Here’s a great article describing the issue). Essentially, AADDers sometimes enter a state of hyperfocus when they’re doing something they find interesting.This focus is nothing like your normal focus either its super intense and hours can pass without a care as the hyperfocused person delves deeply into whatever has interested them this time. Often times this means housework falls by the wayside. However with this list in place it ensures that you at least got the basics done each day.

Lastly procrastination is a huge disadvantage of suffering from Adult Attention Deficit Disorder. Although most everyone procrastinates a little big here and there, people with AADD are so much worse. Mostly because we’re so much more likely to get distracted when we finally do make an effort to take care of a disliked task.With this list in place there is no exception the disliked task (cleaning up the kitchen for me) has to be done a daily basis no if’s and’s or but’s. I’ll admit I don’t know how many times I’ve caught myself thinking  ”Well, I guess I could sit down and make a meal plan for the week rather than sweep…” But usually the fact that I know I don’t want to be sweeping at 9pm keeps me from giving in and procrastinating this necessary (for me) task.

Hopefully I’ve made a strong case for creating a Must Do List and I’ve got you wondering . “How do I go about figuring out what is necessary for my household?” Well I’m going to sound like a broken record and come back to two points that I just can’t seem to stress enough. The first is time, lots and lots of time. I’m a year into this journey and I’m still adjusting and tweaking my list. Secondly, the main reason it will take all that time is because you need to use the Scientific Method in order to find a way to do things that work for you. Ask yourself questions about what will improve your life on a daily basis, and implement your hypothesis one by one to see if it makes a difference.

Taking the steps to make this list can be incredibly hard in the beginning. But with lots of hard work, it’s possible to develop a simple list that ensures you’ll be able to continually keep your home maintained the way you’ve always dreamed. Although I write this with Mom’s who suffer from Adult Attention Deficit Disorder in mind, I think most parents in general could benefit hugely from piecing together and finding out what’s necessary for keeping their home in order on a daily basis.

 


WGOW link up- Tough Times Can Be Fruitful

Posted on

Whats going on Wednesday 1024x70911 300x2071 150x1501 WGOW link up  Tough Times Can Be Fruitful

It’s time for the What’s Going On Wednesday link up with Shelly from amothersnook.com. and I. Time for us to peer into the windows of each other lives and see what’s going on. Feel free to share anything new that’s going on in your life or linking up over at amothersnook.com

I am a firm believer that tough times can bring good things. The good thing may be something minuscule but it helps none the less.

I’ve been struggling to keep up in most areas of my life lately since I have been watching my nieces several days throughout the week. Although I’m slowly adjusting and actually really starting to enjoy having these girls here, it still hasn’t been an easy adjustment. However, the tough times are already proving to be somewhat fruitful.

020 1024x768 WGOW link up  Tough Times Can Be Fruitful

See that? That’s our clean (sorta) living room. No, I’m not putting these girls to work cleaning up our mess, but I am instituting daily pick up times and it’s sticking.

In the past I have tried to institute once or twice a day clean up times using the scientific method, but each time procrastination or a case of the Don’t-wannas got in my way.  However having these girls here so often meant the mess was double what it normally was. And after the mess that was left the first week I vowed to finally stick to some clean up times. So at the start of the week I made sure every room in the house was spotless and the next day I enforced a before nap/quiet time clean up, and a nightly clean up(mostly for my Daughter and I). In the end, this simple 20 minute activity has it’s made a world of a difference. In fact It’s been such a wonderful change that we actually managed to do a clean up even though they weren’t here today. It’s a small change but it really does make life so much easier.

So that’s what’s going on this Wednesday at the Distracted House. Now it’s your turn. What do you have to celebrate this week?

Whats going on Wednesday 1024x70911 300x2071 150x1501 150x150 WGOW link up  Tough Times Can Be Fruitful

load WGOW link up  Tough Times Can Be Fruitful Loading InLinkz ...


Overcoming Obstacles for Mom’s with Adult Attention Deficit Disorder

Posted on

overcoming obstacles in the path of life for the mom with Adult attention deficit disorder Overcoming Obstacles for Moms with Adult Attention Deficit Disorder

Obstacles are inevitable in life. Some obstacles are simple and easily tackled. For example, a log in the road is easily taken care of shorty after encountering it, but it’s an obstacle none the less. On the other hand, there can be obstacles that seem like enormous mountains complete with narrow cliff-side paths, thorny bushes and massive boulders standing in the way. Regardless,  an obstacle is an obstacle. No matter the size, it still prevents the journeyer from quickly and efficiently getting where they need to go. Now lets assume the traveler has Adult Attention Deficit Disorder, not only do the small obstacles become bigger, but there are lots of pretty flowers along the side of the road calling to be picked when times get tough. Last week I hit some large obstacles in my life and I quickly found myself knee high in the flowers avoiding what really needed to be done.Which was finding a way through or around the many obstructions that stood in my path.

What happened you ask? Well to start with, I bit off way more than I could chew (I’m good at that.) I agreed to write a post a day for this series and quickly found myself falling behind when my Husband needed to work overtime. Then, we had a family situation come up and I volunteered to watch my adorable Nieces on an almost daily basis.  All the big obstacles that stood in my path to completing this series made me quickly seek refuge in the cool tall grass on the side of the road.

Then, as I was feeling sorry for myself, I realized I had fallen victim to my distracted ways and I was avoiding my obstacles rather than face them. I knew I had the tools to make the change and overcome the things that stood in my way, I just needed to apply them to my situation.

To start with, I knew I needed to forgive myself for my venture into the flowers. I know I get distracted and I’ve accepted that, but that often doesn’t stop me from beating myself up about the detours I tend to make. Usually my roadside stop doesn’t end until I forgive myself and let myself move on. This can be applied to every day distractions, or bigger distractions that happen when you find yourself pulled away from the path you should be on. Either way, forgiving yourself is the first step in getting over that mountain you face.

The second step is accepting that neither mountain nor molehill can be climbed in one step. I feel like a broken record since I’ve said this a lot in this series, but I just can’t say it enough. Accepting that things won’t change over night is tantamount to actually making the change happen. They’re one and the same; you can’t have one without the other. With all the new obstacles like my Husband working late, and watching two additional children almost daily  I was expecting to make the change effortlessly. Somehow, I had forgotten that all things must be taken at snail pace when you suffer from AADD, otherwise you end up in the flowers, just like I did.

Once you’ve finally forgiven yourself and accepted the time it will take to adjust, it’s back to the drawing board and back to the scientific method. Except it should be easier now, since you’re already on the path and have already managed to figure out a problem with the method before. Now all you need to do is start back at the top and ask yourself a question. Mine was how can I find time to start writing again? From there you follow the steps until you come up with a logical hypothesis to test.  ”Writing outlines and drafts while I am watching the kids each day will enable me to get back to blogging each day.”

the scientific method of housekeeping Overcoming Obstacles for Moms with Adult Attention Deficit Disorder

 

Finally I know I am going to need to be flexible. I know that this is a time of much changing and adjusting. Some days I’ll be able to leap over every obstacle that stands in my way and the next I might hardly be able to crawl. With so much going on in my life I’m going to have to learn to celebrate the wins and pick myself up after the losses. I may not get a post up every day like I planned, but as long as I am continually working and writing as much as I can I’ll still be moving forward. Plus I’ll still be making progress with my Adult Attention Deficit Disorder and maybe help a few kindred spirits along the way.

Progress is great, and it can be such a wonderful thing when you’ve finally found something that works for your ADD brain. But too often hurdles found in the road of life complicate things and make us abandon the road for the much prettier and more fun roadside attractions. We forget what we are doing and where we are headed and hope the obstacle will disappear on it’s own. In reality the only way to get back on the road to finding what works for you is to first off, forgive yourself if you’ve wandered off the path, accept the time it will take to get over the obstacle, approach the issue with the scientific method, and accept that you’ll need to be flexible. Now, it’s time for me to step out of the flowers and head back toward progress.

This post is part of a series of post about struggling with Adult Attention Deficit Disorder as a Mom check out the rest of the posts here

Dealing with Adult attention deficit disorder as a Mom 300x23511 150x1501 150x1501 150x150 Overcoming Obstacles for Moms with Adult Attention Deficit Disorder


Why Support Is Important for Mom’s Suffering from Adult Attention Deficit Disorder.

Posted on

 

So far in my Dealing with Adult Attention Deficit Disorder for Moms series I have discussed everything from how it feels to medication. However, I have yet to cover what I feel is the number one tool for helping any person struggling with inattention; support. Support is vital for the success of all people, but it’s especially helpful for parents struggling with ADD . Of course support can come in many forms and it doesn’t have to be a psychiatrist or psychologist. A supporter can come in the form of a husband, brother, sister, wife, mother, father, aunt, uncle, cousin, grandparent, or even a close friend. No matter what the relation, it’s important to have someone on your side acting as a cheerleader,  an outside view in, and as a companion.

Many times people think that actual cheerleaders are only at games for the purpose of providing entertainment and looking pretty. In reality I have witnessed first hand the effect a cheerleader can have on a game or match, because I was a wrestlerette (cheered for wrestlers). There were several times when a wrestler was in a precarious position on the mat at a very busy meet with several schools and matches going on at once. In those situations it was important for them to have us there cheering them on, because otherwise they might not have anyone there to give them support. Sometimes the wrestler managed to turn things around and sometimes they didn’t either way they knew they had us there cheering them on no matter what. Therefore I firmly believe in the idea that cheerleaders can make a difference, including the cheerleaders we welcome into our everyday lives. With a special person there to support you you have a built in cheerleader there to celebrate the triumphs over ADD  and cheer you on when you’re struggling to get a grip on a new routine. No matter what it’s important to have that person cheering you every step of the way.

Another reason a supporter is so beneficial for people with AADD, is because they offer an outside view. I have read many times that people with AADD struggle with over sensitivity and I know for a fact that I do. I don’t know how many times I’ve had to ask my Husband if I was being overly sensitive. Usually he ends up gently informing me that I am, and he proceeds to draw a picture of the situation so I can better understand what was really going on. In addition he can also see improvment that I can’t. It’s difficult to see an improvement or stagnation in distracted behavior on your own, but an outside view might notice a difference and either offer a compliment or advice on how to change it.

Finally a supporter offers companionship. It’s incredibly difficult to navigate the dark and confusing waters of Adult Attention Deficit Disorder as a Mom. And it’s nearly impossible to make the journey alone. However, by having a companion and supporter by your side, you ultimately better your chances for being sucessful in the long journey to figure out how you’ll cope with AADD. I personally don’t know what I would do with out my supporting Husband who has let me lean on him too many times to count.

In the end I think I’ve made a strong case for finding someone to support you in your journey to find peace with Adult Attention Deficit Disorder. However on the opposite side, it’s important that you return the favor. Because in reality everyone has issues, some more visible or prominent than others, and everyone could use a personal cheerleader, an outside view and a companion to help them through the sometimes confusing waters of life.

Dealing with Adult attention deficit disorder as a Mom 300x23511 150x1501 150x150 Why Support Is Important for Moms Suffering from Adult Attention Deficit Disorder.

 This post is part of a series of posts about dealing with Adult Attention Deficit Disorder as a Mom. Check out my other posts here


Using the Scientific Method to Get Your House in Order

Posted on

Scientific method to get your house in order Using the Scientific Method to Get Your House in Order

Ahhh the scientific method.  Every adult remembers this being drilled into their head, multiple times, throughout their schooling years. Of course, I was one of those nerdy students who actually enjoyed studying how scientists form hypothesis and set up experiments. Yet, I never imagined that I would one day use the scientific method to battle Adult Attention Deficit Disorder and to get my life running a little smoother.

2013 updated scientific method steps v6 noheader Using the Scientific Method to Get Your House in Order

Picture courtesy of sciencebuddies.org. Click the pic for the link

I know it seems a bit odd, but the scientific method doesn’t have to be just for science, it can be used for many things. In my case, I found it especially useful for learning what cleaning methods work for me. To prove it I am going to show you how I used the scientific method to find a laundry system that works for me.

  1. Ask a Question- Our laundry is out of control. What can I do to keep from living out of the dryer and avoid stinky laundry on a continuous basis? How can I get our Laundry situation under control?
  2. Do Background Research- This was easy. All I had to do was look at what I had tried in the past to get laundry under control. For the most part it was nothing. A few times I had tried to do a load a day but the same load was continually being washed again and again. Other than that, we simply washed when we were out of undies, or socks, or our jeans were simply too dirty to be worn again. In addition I did a little research into how other people keep up with laundry and thought about what way might work best for us.
  3. Construct a Hypothesis-  Devoting one day a week to sorting, washing, drying, folding and putting clothes away will eliminate our struggle with laundry. Plus it will enable us to continually have clean clothes to wear on a daily basis.
  4. Test Your Hypothesis by Doing an Experiment- For a full month(remember everything done when you’re ADD must be done at snail pace) I took laundry day for a test drive. I even wrote about my experiment here.
  5. Analyze Your Data and Draw a Conclusion- At the end of my month long ‘once a week laundry day’ experiement I analyzed how I felt about laundry day and whether or not it was working. A look at the facts revealed: we had clean laundry every day, we no longer had to search for undies or socks, and I thoroughly enjoyed not thinking about laundry for 6 whole days of the week.  The conclusion was clear. Laundry day would work for us and we would continue using it as our primary clothes cleaning method. In the end, my experiment proved my Hypothesis correct; Devoting one day a week to sorting, washing, drying, folding and putting clothes away will eliminate our struggle with laundry. Plus it will enable us to continually have clean clothes to wear on a daily basis.
  6. Communicate Your Results- This one is only necessary if it affects your family at all. In this case it was necessary to inform my Husband that Wednesday was laundry day. Meaning he needed to get any work clothes he wanted washed to me by Tuesday, or they would wait until the next week. (Although, I’ll admit, he’s cute and I kind of like him, so I let it slide sometimes.)

the scientific method of housekeeping Using the Scientific Method to Get Your House in Order

 

 

Six simple steps over a one month period, and I had finally remedied our dirty laundry dilemma.

However the outcome might not always end in your favor. In fact, your conclusion might not align with your hypothesis at all.  In this case it’s necessary to ask another question, form another hypothesis and do another experiment. For example lets say that at the end of my once a week laundry day trial I found that I was never getting around to folding the clothes that were washed,  That is when I would ask another question such as, can I divide laundry day into two days; One for washing and one for folding? Then from there I would devise another hypothesis, maybe something like: Devoting one day a week to sorting, washing, and drying clothes and one to folding and putting away the clothes will make our lives easier and keep us from doing the laundry shuffle-(shuffling laundry from couch, to basket to bed,again and again). Then you test out this theory and see how it works. In the end, it’s almost impossible to fail at finding some system that will work. Even if you have to experiment 20 times, you’re bound to find something that will work for you, your home and your family.

In the end this implements what we talked about in my last two posts. Taking things slow. Sure it might be easier to do a trillion loads of laundry after you’re so behind you can’t handle it anymore but you’re likely to repeat the cycle and end up swimming in dirty socks and panties a short time later. In reality, the only way that you’ll actually solve you’re laundry problems is if you address things in a slow and logical manner. I have a feeling that most Mom’s could benefit from using the Scientific Method around the house. However, I’m certain that this method is a sure fire way for Mom’s with Adult Attention Deficit Disorder to deal with the overwhelming task of making housekeeping chores second nature. And the best part is that we already know this methond since we were taught in grade school. Who-da-thunk-it?

Dealing with Adult attention deficit disorder as a Mom 300x23511 150x1501 150x150 Using the Scientific Method to Get Your House in Order

Check out the rest of the post’s in my series about dealing with Adult Attention Deficit Disorder as a Mom here.


Living with AADD in a Fast Paced World: Part Two

Posted on

living with AADD in a Fast paced world 1024x768 Living with AADD in a Fast Paced World: Part Two

In my last post we discussed how hard it is living with AADD -Adult Attention Deficit Disorder- in the current fast paced world that is the 21st century. Specifically, how hard it is to do so as a mom with Adult Attention Deficit Disorder. In the post I asked for a slow down. Although it’s a tough request when the world and your mind are traveling a million miles a minute, it is possible. Plus, you enable yourself to become a better mother and manager of your home when you take the time to slow down.

The first piece of advice I have for taking on a messy home when you’re struggling with AADD in our fast paced world, is to commit to taking the long way. There are no short cuts here. You can’t magically stumble on the perfect system that will enable you to continually keep you house in immaculate condition. It just doesn’t exist. Although there are a multitude of systems, books, and programs that claim to have this magic formula all figured out, it’s highly unlikely that they’ll work.  In the end, if you want a home that runs like you want, you’re going to have to put in the time and effort and it’s not going to be easy. It’s a marathon, not a sprint.

Next I ask that you stop looking at your mess as a whole.  It’s time to stop looking at the entire house and saying. “Gah I’ve gotta get this place cleaned up.” Instead break it down and ask yourself what your biggest issue is. For my Husband and I, it was the dirty dishes and kitchen. We agreed that we would spend each night cleaning the kitchen together no matter what. And for a few weeks that is exactly what we did. We continued doing everything else just as we always had. As in rarely vacuuming, continually washing the same stinky load of laundry, and mopping only when our feet stuck to the floor (gross, I know). But every night we went to bed with the dishes done and the counters wiped down. We did this for weeks, not just a few day, but weeks. When I finally felt like I was forgetting something if we didn’t do our kitchen clean up, I moved on to the next issue.Sure, It’s an incredibly slow process but as I said before it’s a marathon not a sprint and it’s the only way to ensure that these actions are actually made into habits.

My last bit of advice, is not to get discouraged. Seriously, with such a long long journey it’s easy to get disheartened and hard to see the progress . However as long as you continually work toward your goal of building good housekeeping habits you will slowly get where you need to be. I’ve recently had two major epiphanies regarding the changes I’ve managed to make: once when I was putting away my Husband’s undies and realized he hasn’t had to ask me to wash socks or undies in a long time, and second when my bathroom was almost guest ready without even trying. It’s taken me over a year to get to the point where I’m finally seeing progress but there were many times when the lack of physical proof of progress was discouraging and made me wonder why I even bothered. Yet, now I see that this journey requires you trade in the discouragement for patience.As hard as that may be, it will make the journey that much easier.

As much as I would love to sit here and give you a fool proof system to getting your house in order, it’s just not possible. It takes lots of hard work and even more time. But it can be done as long as you slow down, address issues individually and commit to the long haul of getting your house in order. It may take weeks, or months or even years to get where you need. However you’ll spare yourself the frustration and disappointment of feeling like a failure when you inevitably crash and burn from exhaustion. Time to leave the fast paced world behind and approach your life at a slower pace.

Have you ever thought about approaching your house keeping goals at snail pace? Do you think it would be beneficial? 

This is part of a series of blog post about how to cope as mom with Adult Attention Deficit Disorder Check out the main page here

Dealing with Adult attention deficit disorder as a Mom 300x23511 150x1501 150x150 Living with AADD in a Fast Paced World: Part Two

 


Living with AADD in a Fast Paced World: Part One

Posted on

living with AADD in a Fast paced world 1024x768 Living with AADD in a Fast Paced World: Part One

We live in a super fast paced world these days. We have high powered computers in our pocket, that can send an email to a person across the world in mere seconds. We can hit up the drive through and have a hot and ready meal in minutes. And the minute we encounter any kind of problem, we can quickly find a simple solution just by doing a Google search.  It’s a wonderful world. Unfortunately this environment isn’t very conducive to being productive when you suffer from Adult Attention Deficit Disorder(AADD). Not only does this fast pace continually throw mom’s, like myself, with AADD off by distracting them, but it continually sets them up for failure when it comes to home maintenance.

First off, the high paced nature of the world today makes us want our home clean and organized immediately. Not a month from now, not a week from now, not even a day from now. We want it clean as soon as possible. Preferably yesterday. Unfortunately anything short of a miracle or a cleaning company can’t make that happen. So we’re stuck with the daunting task of tackling a massive cleaning project complete with a trillion distractions. Therefore we’ve already set ourselves up for failure before we’ve even begun.

Suppose we finally wade through all the distraction and we  get the house in an immaculate state. The problem is that with a quick natured clean up it’s impossible to develop the tools for keeping it that way. Which means the second we turn around the house is back in the prior state of chaos. Inevitably, we throw in the towel in exchange for some other task that is more pleasant and rewarding. Finally after much self scolding we feel like a failure. Then life quickly moves on and a time later we start the process all over, which obviously gets us nowhere yet again.

The final issue with the fast paced world is that we are constantly being bombarded with perfection. Pinterest, facebook, and Television all present the idea of what a mother and home should be like. Of course the house’s are always clean and perfectly organized and decorated. The mothers are always on time, well put together and are able to remember everything. It’s not realistic at all. Yet it’s what gets the views, repins and ratings so its what we continually see around us in great volumes. Then while being bombarded by perfection at such fast paces, we think we too are expected to be perfect and end up setting ourselves to impossible standards.

In the end most people struggle with the fast pace the world is now in. Yet no one struggles as much as the mom with Adult Attention Deficit Disorder. Fortunately there are ways to help slow down and get your house cleaned up more permanently, which I’ll address in my next post. For now it’s important to take the time to realize that it’s ok to go slow. Having ADD usually means your mind moves at a faster pace than most. Then with the world around us moving just as fast or faster, it makes it hard for us to accept that we need to slow down. With that  it’s easy to feel as if you’re always behind. However by owning up the fact that we can’t change over night and taking the time to slow things down, it’s possible to turn the world into world we want to live in.

This post is part of a series of post about dealing with Adult Attention Deficit Disorder as a Mom. Be sure to check out the rest of the series here

Dealing with Adult attention deficit disorder as a Mom 300x23511 150x1501 150x150 Living with AADD in a Fast Paced World: Part One


Follow Through Friday:Living Room Pickup

Posted on

FollowThroughFriday1 300x300 Follow Through Friday:Living Room Pickup

With my new series about dealing with Adult Attention Deficit Disorder going, on I debated even participating in follow through Friday this week. Then I walked out to the living room this morning and my fate was sealed.

001 1024x768 Follow Through Friday:Living Room Pickup

 

Not only does this mess desperately need to be cleaned up, but the living room is the next room in my journey to take care of procrastinated tasks around the home. Therefore it was impossible for me to come up with any excuses to not participate.

Technically, cleaning up the living room has only been put off a for the last few days since it was clean earlier this week. But it was still procrastinated so I am going to put that up as the number one thing on my to do list.

002 1024x768 Follow Through Friday:Living Room Pickup

Next I wanted to take care of our book case. I am not sure why am tackling this job since I have strong suspicion all the book will end up in a very similar disarray in a few days. The kids love making towers and playing library with the books. and I let them because, well, they’re still playing with books. Right? In fact,  I was thinking about out sourcing this job to my daughter, because I used to love lining books up biggest to smallest when I was her age. (I’m not sure where that part of my personality went, but it’s gone now)

003 1024x768 Follow Through Friday:Living Room Pickup

This last task is just plain old embarrassing. Yes that’s Christmas paper and yes that picture was taken today. That’s right, it’s March and I still have wrapping paper shoved in a corner. Somehow this clutter invisi-fied itself and wasn’t noticeable until i took a look around for this challenge.  It’s time this mess got cleaned up. 3 months is too long for wrapping paper to be sitting out, don’t you think? Plus the tents can be rather cumbersome and I would love to clear up this area for a more free and clean looking living room.

Over all I am a bit wary about participating, since I know I might get burnt out with everything else that is already on my list. But I’ve found that participating in Follow Through Friday with Jean from sonotorganized.com (go checkout her link up) has had a huge impact on making me get off my keester and get moving. So even If I don’t manage to get it all done today I’ll know that at least I tried and however much I do get done will make at least a little impact on how clean our home feels. To me, that’s worth it.

What are your plans for Follow Through Friday? Are you going to be tackling any job’s you’ve been putting off? 


Why I don’t take Medication for AADD: A Guest Post

Posted on

Dealing with Adult attention deficit disorder as a Mom 300x23511 150x150 Why I dont take Medication for AADD: A Guest Post

This post is part of a series on helping Mom’s who struggle with Adult Attention Deficit Disorder.

So far in this series we’ve only just begun discussing methods for copping with Adult Attention Deficit Disorder as a Mom. So today I decided it would be a good idea to discuss the most commonly known and used method for managing this disorder. Medication. However rather than dig right in and tell you my story about medication I thought I would let my Husband share our story about my medication ride and how we decided I would call it quits.

My name is Tye, I’m Andrea AKA The Distracted Housewife’s Husband/ IT guy. Andrea informed me she was doing a series about living with Adult Attention Deficit Disorder (AADD) and asked me if I could write a post about living with the Distracted Housewife and her crazy distracted ways. At first I thought “uh oh, IT’S A TRAP” then I realized, I don’t really have a lot of negative things to say about it. There have been some sacrifices, but I feel all were just and each has been worth the trade. “Sacrifices” may sound bad. You’re giving something up that could be perceived as “better” for a different outcome. I will try to outline some sacrifices that have been made, and why I feel they are more than worth the trade off.

 A little back story….

 

When my wife and I first got together, she was on medication for AADD. We were both in school, and working full time. At this time, it was believed that the medication was a necessity to successfully navigate the day. The routine was similar nearly each day. Wake up, go to work, go to school, come home, go to bed. Somewhere in this mix she would take the medication. At this time, we would blame the neglected chores, on the fact that we were too busy.Tye and I young edited 300x225 Why I dont take Medication for AADD: A Guest Post

As our lives started to wind down a bit, I was around more often when the meds were taken. This was “Hyper-Focused Andrea.” So focused, in fact, that everything else, except what her brain decided to fixate on, was neglected. In fact, she was a totally different person. Still Andrea, but different. In fact, neither of our brains ever focused on the things that needed to get done like the fact that the past weeks dirty dishes (gross I know) had yet to be done. I’m not sure what we blamed the mess on at this time, but I’m sure we had a “good” excuse. I know I’ve mentioned neglected chores multiple times, but there were many other things as well. We were never prepared for anything, we each had tons of unfinished projects (which we STILL haven’t completed) and many other small nuances.

Next, we found out she was pregnant. Now the medication she was on was rated FDA Category C. Simply stated, it has no known side effects, but it’s recommended to only be taken if you feel the benefit outweighs the risk. We both decided, being excited and scared new parents, that “productivity” was not worth risking our child over. She went off the medications and, there were changes. But, guess what? Chores still went incomplete, the house was a mess, and we were still never prepared for anything. Bottom line, the only thing that changed was I got to spend more time with Andrea. Not Hyper-Focused Andrea, but Andrea. This is the one that I loved. This was the Andrea I would come home to after a long day of work and school (pretty sure the meds wore off at this time) and ultimately, the Andrea I fell in love with. The decision was easier for me than it was for her. It took a while for her to adjust, and I tried to be as supportive as I could while she had to re-train her focus beam.

Tye and I now. Why I dont take Medication for AADD: A Guest Post

Fast forward 4 years and here we are today. The house still gets messy (although there is never a weeks worth of dirty dishes in the sink anymore), we still start more projects than we finish, and we often forget things until the last minute. But nowhere near what they used to be. She’s finding systems that work (for her), and she truly wants to help as many people as she can along the way.

I’m in no way advocating everybody go off their medication. It should go without saying that you need to seriously consider the consequences, and speak to your doctor before you do so. What I am advocating is not giving up. Keep trying, you will find something that will work. Hopefully, Andrea can help you out along the way and you can even help her. Often times, it will feel like you are walking down a dark hallway feeling to find your way. You never know how many times you will stub your toe before you get where you want to be. One thing is certain though, you will never find your way if you don’t even try.

 

Isn’t he great? I’m pretty partial though.

Although it was ultimately my decision to stop taking medication, my Husband was incredibly supportive and always supported me 100% in whatever decision I decided to make. He made me feel comfortable enough to just be me and loved me despite my distracted ways. In the end, one of the biggest things I’ve learned about coping with AADD is that you have to learn to manage it. You can’t just pop a pill and make it go away. You have to to take the time to learn how your brain works, as well as learn what coping techniques help you and what techniques hinder you. If you find that medication makes things much easier, that’s great, but it’s best to use other focusing techniques along with the medication. Because in the end, medication alone is like airing up a tire with a small leak. Sure the tire will work for a little while, but patching the hole or getting  a new tire is the only way to truly address the issue.


Starting Fresh for a Mom with Adult Attention Deficit Disorder

Posted on

Dealing with Adult attention deficit disorder as a Mom 300x2351 Starting Fresh for a Mom with Adult Attention Deficit DisorderFor the past few days we have been talking about what it feels like to be a Mom struggling with Adult Attention Deficit Disorder and it’s been tough. I’m used to struggling with this disorder but I am not used to examining it so closely. It was especially hard to put into words exactly how my brain works, and it was even harder to listen to a recording of myself as I rushed around the house with incredible distraction.  And although it was difficult, I think it was necessary for painting the picture of what it is like when you struggle with AADD. In addition I think these were great exercises in motivation for me. They’ve not only shown me how much I need to improve, but also that I already have the keys to improvement, I just need to dust those keys off and unlock the doors.

Thankfully,from here on out the rest of the posts in this series will be more up beat. They’ll be about what tools can be used to help function more normally as a Mom with Adult Attention Deficit Disorder  (although let’s face it, saying I’ll ever be normal is laughable). So with the start of this part of the series I am here to offer my first piece of advice and it’s one of the first things I did when I started the journey to cleaner home more than a year ago.

Forget everything you’ve been told about maintaining a home. That’s right I’m telling you to forget something when most people with attention deficit disorder struggle just to remember things. It’s definitely a different approach but it can be so freeing.

A year ago I finally gave up and threw in the towel and decided to approach things my own way. I had tried to follow every system, plan, notebook, control journal and planner known to the home maintenance challenged community, and I had failed every single time. But you know what, I continued to try their systems again and again and again because I was convinced they were the only options. It wasn’t until I started this blog and decided to take things into my own hands that I realized I needed something personalized. I am and was a unique person and my needs were unique so why was I trying to do it exactly like someone else?
Therefore, I tossed all my books that offered a fool proof plan to organization and started from scratch.

Now I’m not here to tell you I’m perfect, because I’m not. I still have a long long long way to go. However, the progress I have made in one short year proves that catering to your own needs is truly the only way to make your dreams of a cleaner home a reality.

DSC01939 1024x768 Starting Fresh for a Mom with Adult Attention Deficit Disorder

So I beg of you, put that pink book about a sink, that you’re reading for the umpteenth time, down, and forget everything you’ve read or been told and approach the challenge of changing your slovenly ways in a new light. A light that radiates from you. Because you are the answer to the problem, not some outdated, and personalized system.

Join me on the rest of the journey to a cleaner home when you’re suffering from distraction and Adult Attention Deficit Disorder.