This post is part of a series of posts about the struggle to deal with Adult Attention Deficit Disorder as a Mom. If you’d like to see more posts on this subject visit the homepage here.
Adult Attention Deficit Disorder is a hard subject for normal people to understand. Too many times people think we have a lack of motivation, a lack of discipline or are all around lazy. However, a peek inside the mind of a mom with AADD reveals why we struggle with focus so much compared to the average Joe.
Of course every mind is different, but my AADD brain functions like a pin ball machine. However, there are two major differences between a regular machine and my brain. First thing to note, is that it’s incredibly foggy inside. So foggy in fact, that nothing but light is able to shine through the fog. Second, is that the ball has no exit. Meaning the ball has no way to exit the game unless the machine is turned off (sleep).
Once the ball is launched it continually bounces from subject to subject. With each idea there is a flash of light surrounding it. Which means I can clearly see the idea through the fog. Soon after, the ball bounces elsewhere and the light from the original idea slowly fades and the new idea is immediately illuminated.
It’s incredibly frustrating to tame that ball, and there are ways I have found that can help, but right now I’m trying to focus on the why. My main goal is show why this mental pinball game can be even harder for mom’s with AADD.
First, procrastination is much easier as a mother. Most people with AADD have a harder time than normal people with procrastination, because their mind so easily allows them to jump to a more interesting and appealing subject. In a normal work setting, a person with AADD has to get what they need done. They’re either on a deadline or they’ll be fired if they don’t force themselves to do the job at hand. Sure you’re still able to procrastinate as a non-mother with Adult Attention Deficit Disorder, but there isn’t as much to keep the mind from being pin-balled elsewhere.But, as a Mom, you have at least one other person demanding you put your attention elsewhere. Meaning there are a million other opportunities for your mind to get pin-balled to other more appealing subjects. No matter where a mother is she has this additional little distraction calling her to play, change a diaper, discipline, or just snuggle. It makes it a trillion times easier to put off things that need to be done in lieu of caring for a child/children.
The next reason having AADD is extra difficult as a mother, is because distraction is inevitable. Every Mom knows how impossible it is to go a full hour(sometimes less) without hearing “MOM!!! HE HIT ME!” or having a baby start screaming. Plus the unwelcome distraction often comes right when you feel like you’ve finally found a little focus. Most people are able to jump right back in where they were once the dispute is settled or the baby is cared for. However a parent with AADD has to relocate their focus and go back through all the steps it took to get them there in the first place. And sometimes finding that focus never comes, and the project is left half done yet again.
Finally demands are higher as a parent. Every mom is expected to wear a trillion different hats. Chef’s hat, Taxi Driver hat, Schedule Keeper hat, Accountant hat and Maid hat are just a few hats a mom has to wear on a daily basis. Now when Adult Attention Deficit Disorder is thrown into the mix, those hats can get all jumbled up as the mind in pin-balled from one subject to another. Wearing a chef’s hat while looking at the bills is not going to get you anywhere. Unfortunately that’s how the mind of a Mom with Attention Deficit Disorder works. In fact, often times we don’t even realized that our brain has automatically removed one hat in place of another. It’s unstoppable and incredibly frustrating.
The good news is that Adult Attention Deficit Disorder can be tamed. I myself, have struggled with AADD for years. And although I’m no where near perfect, I have managed to tame my distracted brain over time. It hasn’t been easy and there is no way I can touch on all the methods I’ve found in one post, but I look forward to sharing them in future posts. For now I hope that I have given a clear depiction on what it can be like when you’re struggling to focus on a day to day basis. If you relate to this post at all, even if you don’t have AADD, I really hope you take the time to join me on the journey toward a clearer less pinball like brain and a more organized, productive life.